Andy (After 5 mins): “Fast start isn’t it?”
Alex (After 30 mins): “Hard isn’t it?”
Barny (After 90 mins): “How’s it going Paul?”. Me: “I’m on my knees but kind of enjoying it”. Barny: “What bit of this is enjoyable?”
This was the extent of the conversations I was physically capable of engaging in with my team mates over 2 hours and 44 minutes of vicious hilly road racing in the p*ssing rain yesterday.
47 2nd, 3rd and 4th Cats lined up outside Rolvenden village hall. Normally we’d have a field of 60 but the rain was so dreadful and the course so challenging that it didn’t really surprise that 13 people were a lot wiser than I was!
As the lead cars rolled away and the flag went down to signal the end of the neutralised zone it went off like our lives depended on it. I kid you not, I was riding as FAST AS I COULD for the whole of the first minute. There was no thinking about conserving energy, how much food or drink to take or where were the key parts of the course. This was literally about hanging in there and treating this 65 mile race as 130 little races of half a mile each.
“10 more seconds, it will ease up”
It didn’t.
“10 more”
Still nothing.
Surely I am not going to get dropped in the first minute?!!
Fortunately, it turned out it wasn’t Bradley Wiggins on the front and the paced dropped, not a second too soon, from f@cking fast to only bloody fast.
10 minutes into the race the pressure was still on and gaps were opening everywhere. I tried to follow wheels to avoid too much work in the wind closing these gaps myself but then I remembered what had happened at the Nationals a few weeks ago when 15 riders disappeared up road. I was NOT letting that happen again and I jumped around Ed and a couple of other riders and decided that I would ride up to the front group regardless of the outcome.
This was either going to finish me off and I’d blow up and get dropped by doing too much or I could stay where I was and get dropped by doing too little.
Great couple of choices!
The former was realistically my only choice and I found something I have never found before. The interesting thing was that it wasn’t actually in my legs or my lungs or my heart.
No, it was in my head.
I rode across the gap, knowing how important it was and realised just how much the decision to ignore your head can help you. I was now on the back of the lead group, unsure how many made it or how many were in trouble. I found out later that a lot were.
I was now on the back of the lead group and I sensed a few more riders beginning to make the junction behind me. The hard bit had just begun however as I now had over 2 more hours of racing with the best riders in this race. Oh well I only had myself to blame!
A long fast descent (which I’ll come back to) and 15 minutes in and we hit the first climb of the day. Amazingly the skinny guys didn’t fly up it, everybody needed a short breather; they were human after all!
Things were different over the top of the climb however as everybody just drilled it on the main road.
“Yes but you’re built for the fast flat roads Paul”
When you’ve just been hanging on to 46 skinny guys on an undulating lane for 15 minutes which culminated on a hill, riding full gas on the flat is a very different story your legs will tell you!
Anyway I got through it, we swung left and we hit the second descent (I was comfortable here – shame the descents are over so quickly) before a two tiered climb which we flew up in gears I wouldn’t even consider on the flat in training.
Left and left again, up the drag and through the finish line. 5 laps to go! There is no way I am going to finish this race. No way. I am definitely definitely not going to make it to the end. I am riding on my absolute limit when we hit the main descent for the second time. I had vaguely noticed a manhole cover on a left hander on lap one (whilst narrowly avoiding a heart attack) with a big pothole next to it and was paying special attention not to ride over it as it would be like an ice rink in this rain. Do I go inside it and risk drifting wide and over it or do I run outside it and risk drifiting wide and into traffic!
Brilliant.
I chose outside and continued to do so successfully on each lap. As long as everyone in front of me sees it too I’ll stay out of hospital. They did.
Right, left and right and then straight. Thank goodness as we hit 50 mph in the wet and I don’t mind admitting I was glad when the last one of those was over.
We hit the climb that followed and this time the skinny guys weren’t messing around. I was going backwards when Andy passed me and said “hang in there Paul” (another ‘conversation’) which was enough, cheers mate. I was riding the climbs out of the saddle, treating them like a sprint finish as, if I had treated them with any less respect, I’d have been out of the race.
About 90 minutes in and I got a chance to have a look around. The group was tiny! We had shed half the field. Barny, Andy and Alex were there with me but unfortunately we’d lost Ed, Stu and Lee. There was no shame in that chaps, this was brutal. This was bloody brutal.
The size of the riders remaining was interesting too:
Short and skinny OR Tall and skinny AND Me.
I was in the company of climbers and I was hurting. So far I had been sick 5 times in the race and desperately wanted to eat but daren’t in case it made things worse. Fortunately I had carbs in my water bottles. I had never tried so hard as I had today and, knowing that I had ‘made the selection’ motivated me beyond belief. Having 3 fabulous team mates around me gave me even further encouragement. None of us wanted to be the next to ‘crack’.
I was 6 feet from the wheel in front on one of the climbs and really couldn’t do anything about the gap. I turned to Alex and said “you go mate”.
Nothing.
I followed it up with a pathetic “please?”
He laughed and closed the gap. I knew what he meant. He really didn’t have it in him either. That’s how bad it was getting!
2 hours in and I’m now thinking about where on the course I am going to drop out of the race. If I drop out at the finish it’s convenient as I’m near the warm and dry village hall. That would mean choosing to quit though. That is not in my nature. I was more likely to get dropped on the hill at the far side of the course which was annoying as I’d have to ride back alone.
There was another option.
It begins with Man and ends with The F*ck Up.
We reached the bell and I led the peloton through. I felt very proud. 4 riders had broken off the front but frankly I didn’t care, my race was here, I was here to finish in the peloton. 1 lap to go.
Everyone was tired now and we looked more like a breakway than a peloton as there couldn’t have been more than 15 of us left in our group. Things were clearly going to kick off on the 2 climbs. The first one came and went and even though it was hell we were still ‘gruppo compacto’ on the descent into the final climb. Andy jumped away with 2 others which meant we didn’t have chase.
What a shame
They were gone then Alex slipped into a move and he was away. Again, we stayed where we were but there were only 5 of left! This didn’t really matter now; in fact it was kinda fun knowing that, a few miles down the road at the finish, we would be coming in in ones and twos like a Belgian Classic and not the usual bunch sprint. We had all ‘raced the race’ and it had been bloody awesome.
Now it was my turn. Ever since entering the race I knew that if I was going to make a move, given the course profile, it could only be after all the climbs were out if the way. I jumped away from my group but someone grabbed my wheel and sat on it, forcing me to swing over and reassess. My group consisted of Barny, me and 3 other muddy-faced opponents. I sat at the back, caught my breath and jumped again.
I was clear.
A second later my legs told me that they didn’t want to play
I tried desperately to keep the pedals turning as I could see the finishing straight, ramping up ahead of me. “Come on” I heard as one of our group had jumped across to join me. My reactions were slowed by my fatigue and my legs were slowed further. I couldn’t get his wheel. No hope.
Seconds later Barny and the other 2 charged past me and I dragged my body over the line for 17th then dragged Barny out of the ditch where he had collapsed after placing 16th. I was congratulated by Andy and Alex who came a fabulous 9th and 10th respectively
Only 20 finishers out of 47 starters today. I confess I may have shed a few tears in the car on the way home. I mix of pride and how much my body was hurting…..
Ed’s post-race synopsis sums things up pretty well:
“What can I say? Wtf! Jeezus! I want my mummy!
Brain insisting that it was not a good idea to be doing this, that I was in actual peril.
Legs yelling “I can’t give you any more captain – the engine canny take it!”
Heart rate through the roof, even on the descent.
Race blew apart in the second lap and I was sliding back into the silence of normal life.
Shrugged my shoulders and went and had a cup of tea.
Well done lads, some balls as big as Andy’s guns today”
What a day
PB
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